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Monday, September 2, 2019

Happy Labour Day, TSX Investors!

I always loved long weekend. 3 days off is better than 2 days. Those are like perfect quiet time to do my nails and check on some important stuff: my portfolio. This past session was great for the TSX. At 16 444 points this past Friday, my non-registered portfolio closed at $115,272.14, my TFSA portfolio at $79,309.08 and my RRSP portfolio - stocks only - at $45,786.89. I had updated my investment portfolio. Altogether, my portfolios worth $272,976.33‬. My net worth is now at ‭$226,482.26‬, which is an increased of exactly $345.21 compare to June 2019. The gains are little, but at least, I am not decreasing in value. Currently, we are facing so many challenging, a recession might not be too far away, but right now, the worst is between Trump and China. The trade war is creating a lot of volatility on the stock market. It's the main reason why I only own a +$345.21 gains compare to June of this year - that and fact that I didn't get serious about saving money during the past couple of months. But now, September is already in so that is about to change. 

As you have noticed, I have some cash available to invest inside my TFSA portfolio and RRSP portfolio. I was thinking about transferring the cash I had in my TFSA portfolio into my non-registered one to pay down my margin debt, but that was until I suddenly wake up. In recent years, Derek Foster came along with some new stock ideas and it seems like at first, I never really like what he's investing in. It's just several days later that I wake up and suddenly told myself: wake up bitch, you need that stock and you need to do just like Derek Foster. 

It's funny, but it's how things had been working lately between Derek Foster stock picks and me. In his latest newsletter, Derek Foster informs our poor soul that he had invested in Leon's Furniture Limited (LNF). So I am going to do exactly like him - again - at least when it comes to the cash I have inside my TFSA portfolio. I  am just trying to remember right now what was the last stock I had invested in that was a Derek Foster stock. Could it be Enbridge? I don't know for sure. I am just too lazy to conduct the search on my own blog.

In defense of Derek Foster and not mine, Leon's Furniture Limited (LNF) has a nice chart, pay a good dividend distribution (3.5%). And on top of that, LNF is quite well rank on Stockopedia. Over there, LNF is enjoying a 99 StockRank, as well as a Super Stock nomination. So I mean what better can I get? It's getting harder and harder for me to find the perfect stock for my almost perfect investment portfolio. It's just that Leon's Furniture Limited (LNF) doesn't bring in any sort of excitement to me. I don't know why. Maybe it's a good sign after all. Anyhow, tomorrow, I will be investing a bit of money in LNF. An investment in  Leon's Furniture Limited (LNF) certainly will be better than any money investing in Jean-François Tardif 's JFT Strategies Fund (JFS.UN). JFS.UN is going no where and cannot bring any richness to smart investors like I am. I am just glad that I don't hold any JFS.UN unit in my portfolio anymore.

My investment portfolio on date of August 30, 2019

Cold cash: $2,001.55‬

Stocks and Units investment portfolio $CAN
Bank of Nova Scotia (BNS): $11,115.6‬0
Methanex Corporation (MX): $4,445.48‬
Fortis Inc.
(FTS): $6,871.25
Pembina Pipeline Corporation (PPL): $31,193.6‬0
Corby Distilleries Limited (CSW.A): $2,422.16‬
iShares S&P/TSX Capped REIT Index (XRE): $3,016.86
New Flyer Industries Inc. (NFI): $3,225.66‬
TMX Group Inc. (X): $922.48‬
K-Bro Linen Inc. (KBL): $3,839
TransCanada Corp (TRP): $1,705.5‬0
Canadian National Railway Co (CNR): $11,034
Enbridge Inc. (ENB): $14,694.90
Emera Inc. (EMA): $1,442‬
BCE Inc. (BCE): $1,386
Saputo Inc. (SAP): $1,600.80
Loblaw Companies (L): $874.44‬
Savaria Corporation (SIS): $5,688.24
WSP Global Inc. (WSP): $3,604
Aphria Inc. (APH): $1,678
George Weston Limited (WN): $108.17
(KML): $4,404‬

TOTAL: $115,272.14

Stocks and Units investment portfolio $US:
Berkshire Hathaway Inc. (BRK.B): $1,627.28
General Mills Inc. (GIS): $1,721.6‬0
Cash: $0

TOTAL: $3,348.88 US: $4,446.98‬ CAN

Tax-free savings account (TFSA):
Dumont Nickel Inc. (DNI): $12.92
RioCan Real Estate Investment Trust (REI.UN): $926.80
CT Real Estate Investment Trust (CRT.UN): $1,468‬
Canadian National Railway Co (CNR): $4,904
Exchange Income Corporation (EIF): $38.50
Brookfield Infrastructure Partners L.P. (BIP.UN): $4,191.52
Brookfield Renewable Energy Partners L.P. (BEP.UN): $1,494.6‬0
Andrew Peller Limited (ADW.A): $2,408.9‬0
Hydro One Limited (H):
Toronto-Dominion Bank (TD): $1 444
Boyd Group Income Fund (BYD.UN): $5,343.60
Canadian Apartment Properties Real Estate Investment Trust (CAR.UN): $3,748.50
Data Communications Mgmt (DCM): $6.12
Morneau Shepell Inc. (MSI): $2,943.90
Royal Bank of Canada (RY): $3,983.2‬0
Park Lawn Corporation (PLC): $1,518.60
Toromont Industries Ltd (TIH): $2,550.8‬0
BCE Inc. (BCE): $567‬
Northview Apartment Real Estate Investment Trust (NVU.UN): $4,441.50
Sienna Senior Living Inc. (SIA): $1,500‬
Boralex Inc. Class A Shares (BLX): $827.20
Richelieu Hardware Ltd. (RCH): $1,177.60
Savaria Corporation (SIS): $767.20
Northland Power Inc. (NPI): $2,525‬
Calian Group Ltd. (CGY): $2,527.1‬0
BMO Bank of Montreal (BMO): $1,825.20
Canadian Utilities Limited (CU): $1,614.90
WSP Global Inc. (WSP): $1,802
Granite Real Estate Investment Trust (GRT.UN): $637.1‬0
Cargojet Inc. (CJT): $2,984.68‬
Nutrien Ltd. (NTR): $3,352.50
TFI International Inc. (TFII): $3,100
Canadian Imperial Bank Of Commerce (CM): $3,093.90
SIR Royalty Income Fund (SRV.UN): $1,024‬
ATCO Ltd. (ACO.Y): $2,850 
Aecon Group Inc. (ARE): $1,849 
Brookfield Asset Management Inc. Class A Limited Voting Shares (BAM.A): $2,609.08
Cash: $1,250.16‬

TOTAL: $79,309.08

RSP investment portfolio: 
Emera Incorporated (EMA): $16,611.84
EnCana Corporation (ECA): $637.20
Toronto-Dominion Bank (TD): $2,166‬
Telus Corp (T): $2,411.5‬0
Royal Bank of Canada (RY): $1,991.60
Savaria Corporation (SIS): ‬$2,213.92‬
Thomson Reuters Corporation (TRI): $3,293.64
Park Lawn Corporation (PLC): $5,062
Richards Packaging Income Fund (RPI.UN): $1,320.33‬
Toromont Industries Ltd (TIH): $446.39‬
CAE Inc. (CAE): $2,439.50
CGI Group Inc. Class A Subordinate Voting Shares (GIB.A): $3,654.70
Boralex Inc. Class A Shares (BLX): $1,034
Quebecor Inc. (QBR.B): $749.75
Logistec Corporation Class B Subordinate Voting Shares (LGT.B): $261.80
Brookfield Renewable Partners L.P. (BEP.UN): $946.58
Cash: $546.14

Total: $45,786.89‬     

CIBC Dividend Growth Fund + CIBC Emerging Markets Index Fund + CIBC Monthly Income Fund: $2,926.49‬

Energy and Base Metals Term Savings (Indexed term savings): $577.30
Natural Resources Term Savings (Indexed term savings): $502.45

GIC National Bank: $1 342.86              

Manulife Fidelity NorthStar GIF CAP B: $1,167.98‬
Manulife Simplicity Growth Portfolio: $1,392.84
Maritime Life CI Harbour Seg Fund: $1,274.58
Maritime Life Fidelity True North Seg Fund: $1,693.97
Manulife GIF MLIA B World Invest: $1,216.03‬
Total: $6,745.40

Other various: $14,030.19‬

TOTAL: $71,911.58

Social Capital at Desjardins Membership share: $35
Savings + Stocks, units, mutual funds + Tax-free Savings account + RRSP:
On date of August 30, 2019
$272,976.33‬

My debt situation on date of August 30, 2019

Margin account: $46,494.07 @ 5.50%
Annual interest: $2,557.18
On date of August 30, 2019

*For a complete update regarding my debt, click on the label "Debt situation" located at the right column of this blog.

Monday, August 26, 2019

Happy Birthday MAS$$$$E (and me:-)

This is my last post as a 38 years old, but it's going to be a quick one. Tomorrow is my birthday, as well as MA$E!

If you don't like Ma$e, you just don't know what good old songs are like! So far 39 is not that bad.

My mom has that strange habit to call me ONE day before my actual birthday to wish me happy birthday... which I absolutely hate. And she likes to call me again on that special day. I don't need any reminder, but thank you for the good wishes, because I will need some. 

Yesterday, I was writing about PPL and Derek Foster, and guess what happened, the man had left his cave! Derek Foster sent a newsletter to his follower. And I just don't get the sell of BEP to buy what? some Leon stocks? What??? It's doesn't make quite sense to me. These days, I am not getting much from Derek Foster. Just like you may not like each and single investment I make, but you keep coming around, just in case I could be in love with the right stock. One thing is for sure, my investment in CJT had turned to be a golden ticket. Do you have yours? I don't investment as much as I used to be for many reasons: my portfolio is pretty well established. I basically own all the stocks I ever wanted to have as investment. But from time to time, I surf around, or just hit on something hot on Stockopedia, so you just never know.

Other than listening to come cool Ma$e videos, feel free to jump in anytime you want around here because you just never know if my next investment will have just everything that you need. So behave.

Sunday, August 25, 2019

Welcome in my non-registered portfolio Kinder Morgan Canada Limited (KML)!

At just above the 16 000 points, the situation is not extraordinary for this TSX these days. And it's not quite easy to watch. However, a bunch of good stuff had been going on. Let's start with the dividend distribution: this past week, both Canadian Imperial Bank Of Commerce (CM) and Royal Bank of Canada (RY) had announced increasing their dividend distribution.

Cargojet Inc. (CJT) had been in my portfolio since October 2018. I had found the fabulous CJT on Stockopedia. I had found many of the great stocks I hold in my portfolio on Stockopedia: like WSP Global Inc. (WSP), Park Lawn Corporation (PLC), Toromont Industries Ltd (TIH), just to name a few others. Another great news of last financial week concern Cargojet Inc. (CJT). This past Friday, Cargojet Inc. (CJT) closed on a terrific 12.86% gains. I own some CJT stocks inside my TFSA portfolio. CJT announced an agreement deal to provide air transportation services to Amazone.

Also this past week, Pembina Pipeline Corporation (PPL) announced the acquisition of Kinder Morgan Canada Limited (KML) AND a dividend increased. PPL will offer $15.02 per share for KML. Since KML was trading lower than $15.02, I decided to buy some KML shares. Acquisition and merger are certainly among the most exciting thing that exists in the stock market. Whenever a company trading on the stock market buys another one, usually, the buyer makes an offer that exceed the current value per share: I adore that kind of move. The difference between the price of my buy and $15.02 is not enormous, but free cash is free cash. Pembina Pipeline Corporation (PPL) is a Derek Foster stock. PPL had been in my non-registered portfolio since, I belive, 2009. I made $$$ on the back of Derek Foster on that one.

On those bunch of good news, my non-registered portfolio closed Friday session at $112,054.69, my RRSP portfolio at $44,895.08 and TFSA portfolio at $77,433.45‬. I was expecting more gains, but with a TSX below 16 500 points, good gains are hard to come by.

Tuesday, August 20, 2019

I cannot wait to get rid of BMO Bank of Montreal (BMO) inside my TFSA portfolio

Personally, I don't like cats, I ADORE cats, but unluckily, flurry friends make me suffer from asthma. I tempted to forget about my asthma, because I guess my lungs are stronger now from years getting to the gym, but asthma just doesn't simply disappear like that overnight. And I am pretty sure that if I get too friendly with cute flurry cats like Smoothie & Milkshake, I will probably suffer from an asthma attack. So I cannot get any sweet cat of my own, that's quite sad but guess what, my little favorites had come with a 2020 calendar!!! (And I can get it!).



It's just too adorable! I am going to buy Smoothie and Milkshake 2020 calendar like now. And it's done. It's an absolute must-have to any cat lovers :-) It may sound early now to get a 2020 calendar, but if you place your order now, you'll get a 30% off. I have ordered my calendar, did you order yours? That calendar is quite a good idea that the owner of those lovely cats had. Smoothie and Milkshake are among Internet most well-known cats. And you got to think that those precious need loving care, vet visits, toiletries, toys, food and treats like... catnip. I am pretty sure that those two cats are like super high maintenance. So that calendar is my little contribution to the well-being of Smoothie & Milkshake, may they entertained us for many years ahead.

I was happy to see the TSX gaining some valuable points yesterday, but today wasn't that good. Since Savaria Corporation (SIS) was experiencing some gains (yesterday), I decided not to sell it. If a stock is gaining value on a day that I may feel like selling it, it's mean that the stock wants me and doesn't want to leave my portfolio - really simple thinking that lead to super smart financial choices if you see what I mean. With me, everything is simple. And that's how Monday saved Savaria Corporation (SIS). I took the wise decision to leave the beautiful alone inside my non-registered portfolio and in my other portfolios as well, even if today SIS was down. My mind wasn't set to sell, so I didn't. My non-registered portfolio closed yesterday session at $111,290.17, my TFSA portfolio at $78,408.11‬ and my RRSP portfolio at $45,935.99. I had registered a nice gain yesterday compared to this past Friday. Today, my non-registered portfolio closed at $110,215.51‬, my TFSA portfolio at $77,933.52 and my RRSP portfolio at $45,557.31‬.

I am almost getting ready to sell RioCan Real Estate Investment Trust (REI.UN) without facing any damaging. Once REI.UN is out of the way, I could pick a nice investment, combine with the cash that came from the sell Lightspeed POS Inc. (LSPD). Yesterday, I wrote about a new stock that I found on Stockopedia: First National Financial (FN). The overall chart of FN looks great, just the way I like them, quite strong, but not among the strongest chart I have ever seen. And I am not a fan of businesses dealing with mortgages. Mortgage is a cruel invention made for the poor people to access to properties. It's a debt hole that is making people have to suck to their job until their late 60s, 70s... And it's quite sad. I may just have a net worth in the 200k that may not impress everyone like that guy over there. I am in search of a million, I just want to have a little more for myself. For me, real richness starts with nothing more or less than a $300 000. It's my magic number. And if I can ever reach that net worth, be sure you will be hearing of it. I am having big trouble big times to get there.

However, I am almost there in order to get rid of REI.UN - I cannot wait. Another stock that I want to say good-bye to ASAP is BMO Bank of Montreal (BMO). In my portfolio, BMO is the only bank stock that I hold that is currently down in value. That means that BMO Bank of Montreal (BMO) is not among top Canadian bank stock. BMO is not a true strong performer and I deserved much poor than a poor Quebeck stock in my portfolio. I only want the best and BMO Bank of Montreal (BMO) is strictly garbage that belongs to Quebecker investors. I am way to smart to be holding on to some BMO stocks. Please excuse me.

Sunday, August 18, 2019

Will I ever become the frugal girl I used to be?

It's always quite difficult to see the TSX doing down, but seeing it sliding below the 16 000 points is not fun. However, we were lucky enough this past Friday, the TSX closed the session in the 16 100 points. These days, volatility is in the air. I like my TSX when it's easy to handle and steady. These days, the stock market is not an easy place to be. It's sad, but it's obviously not right on time for my 39th birthday that I am going to get my hands on a 300k net worth or even 250k, but it doesn't really matter. Better luck next time! More than grow, I am concern about keeping myself at flow, without facing too much loses. This past Friday, my non-registered portfolio closed at $109,963.02, my TFSA $77,680.60, and my RRSP portfolio at $45,390.34.

While facing such volatility, and maybe an upcoming recession, I had been closely looking at my stocks. Currently, my margin debt is of $43 000. Following my smart sell move involving Lightspeed POS Inc. (LSPD) inside my TFSA portfolio, I now have more than $1 100 cash that is comfortably lying in there, doing there. At this time, I have no investment plan, I had nothing I want to invest in at this time. Among with LSPD, another investment I made at the same time inside my TFSA was Brookfield Asset Management Inc. (BAM.A). I still have BAM.A inside my TFSA portfolio. For that one, I have in mind a long term investment. BAM.A is still strong despite the recent market shakers. One option for my TFSA cash would be to transfer the amount over my non-registered account, to help pay down my margin. I had big problems big time to pay down that fatty margin, so why not?

Other than that, I had been looking at the possibilities of selling the Savaria Corporation (SIS) stocks that I hold inside my non-registered portfolio and pay down my margin. That way, I could bring my margin to somewhere in the $36 000. Since 2018, SIS chart had been going down. Luckily, for the SIS stocks that I hold inside my non-registered portfolio, I am still - at least for now - experiencing a capital gain. In my view, Susan Brunner analysis of Savaria Corporation (SIS) is mostly positive, but SIS StockRank on Stockopedia is so-so, SIS had been on a declined since last year and we may be facing soon a recession. I am currently more on a sale mood for this one. I may proceed, I don't know for sure yet.

While browsing on Stockopedia this evening, I find a new stock: First National Financial (FN). Despite this new finding, I am more interested in the idea of paying down my margin rather than investing in a new stock - which is really unusual coming from me. These days, I try not to be much concern regarding the market volatility, but fact is, I absolutely hate it.

I had spent a lot of money in July. I must admit, it's quite hard to get back in the roll of saving money.

Thursday, August 15, 2019

Happy birthday, Acadian Investors!

Who else could I be other than an Acadian? I was too good to be a Quebecker. Being Acadian is not about the language either way. It's about being. I think Acadians make great investors because we are super resilient, we know how to take hit, no one can destroy me, no one can beat me out. Among with the First Nation, we have built this country down to its root. We have one of our best author, Antonine Maillet, about the only strong talent of the French Canadian literature who actually "got it" and who had been honor by the Prix Goncourt at a time when the price was still an honorable one and no prostitute of the like Virginie Despentes was member of the jury. The difference between an Acadian, Quebecker, and French is huge. We Acadians are about the only French expression people to have some common sense. Just the really best people in the world

On this extra special day, I wasn't much surprise to learn that the jerk of Justin Trudeau had been found guilty of violating the Conflict of Interest Act in the SNC-Lavalin affair. worst bad being is that Trudeau doesn't want to recognize his guilt. Typical behavior of another stupid Quebecker. Tudeau said he did what he did in order to protect jobs, but what he did was protecting SNC-Lavalin interests. CEO and high staff of SNC-Lavalin earn million per year. It's not fair that the jobs of unethical workers are being preserved. If you are a smart investor, you don't invest in SNC-Lavalin Group Inc. (SNC) or Bombardier Inc. (BBD.B). Rare are the Quebec businesses who actually worth it. Inside Canada, Quebeckers are well-known for their stupidity. Never put your trust in a Quebecker. Everything is unreliable in Quebec province. Lightspeed POS Inc. (LSPD) is another example of an unreliable Quebec bases business.

Basically, on the TSX, I am the only investor you should trust because I know my stuff, and the TSX is in my vein.

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Yeah! CAE Inc. (CAE) is increasing its dividend distribution

Today was obviously a pretty bad day for the TSX. I wasn't able to check the closing of the day in real-time because I had to leave work early, since I had a dentist appointment. It went well. All the drama is coming from old grey fillers that I need to get replaced because some fillers started to break and I even one filler that started breaking oe tooth so yeah, my pretty mouth was a mess. The worst part being that I still have more work to be done inside my precious mouth. What I have left to be done will costed 2k. But good news being, what is being left is not a matter of emergency so I am planning to have more work to be done next year, and probably a second time the year after that because my insurance only covered 1k per year.

All of my problems came from a childhood spent in the 80s and early 90s where I was getting hot chocolate in the morning for breakfast. We also drank some coolaid, artificial juice, soda... We always ate quite well at home, the only problem was sugar drinks, especially coke. That stuff ruined my teeth, but it isn't that bad either, it's just light regular fillers on most of my teeth. My dentist said that she had seen worst cases than me. Some ladies in their young forties have none of their real teeth in their mouth. I still have mine, at least. Another problem that I will be facing, in another 10 years so so, is that I need to have them replaced again... Its being said that white fillers last for about 10 years... And since my pretty mouth is full of filler shit, I have to make sure that I put at least 10k aside for my teeth when I will get older. It won't probably cost as much as 10k, but it's good to have more than less so yeah... It's quite expensive to grow in age. As you know, I will be turning 39 on August 27th. Other than my teeth, that are inside of me, I don't have any sign of aging showing up, if not a few white hairs popping out, but I had some blond highlight earlier this summer and nothing is showing up. So this is a real dirty secret just between you and me so don't tell no one.

Knowing I had my appointment at the dentist during the late afternoon, I continue checking the TSX and I saw what I saw, going down, in the fear of a recession. Things are not super great in Germany, which is the heartbeat of the European economy. And the UK is just totally lost. So if things are not all good in Germany, chances are that we are going to hit a wall somewhere. 

I am, again, really happy that I don't hold any more of LSPD shares, and LAS.A shares inside my portfolio. Basically today, the only great financial news I was able to catch today is that CAE Inc. (CAE) - I hold this one inside my RRSP portfolio - had increased its dividend distribution.  But CAE took a hit down today, its value decreased today.

I won't check on the value of my portfolio because: I feel my mouth and I am feeling enough that I don't want to see the numbers. I will be ugly said, I know it. Ok so right now, I am just in need of a Smoothie the Cat video :0)


Tuesday, August 13, 2019

I have a confession to make: I am a romantic investor

If you are a longtime reader, you had already figured that out by yourself a long time ago. If you are new to the blog, you are just about to find out how a strange badass I am. And on top on that you are getting all of my best advice for FREE. You are just so lucky!!!

:-)

I guess you could say that I am somewhat a romantic investor. I had become a romantic investor over time. At first, I was only buying Derek Foster stocks. As time buy, I only love my stocks more and more. And I have babies that I wouldn't sell unless there's a big problem. Among my little favorite, we have  Fortis Inc. (FTS),  New Flyer Industries Inc. (NFI), Emera Inc. (EMA), Canadian National Railway Co (CNR), Toromont Industries Ltd (TIH) and Park Lawn Corporation (PLC) just to name those. My name is not **"@!!!!!. My name is Fortis Inc. (FTS),  New Flyer Industries Inc. (NFI), Emera Inc. (EMA), Canadian National Railway Co (CNR), Toromont Industries Ltd (TIH) and Park Lawn Corporation (PLC). I actually have other stocks that I like very much. Many of the stocks that I love the most had been with me for a really long time. 

Following 11 years of investment, I have strong intuition on which stocks will work for me for the long run. Each stock that I had been holding on for a long time had been part of my history. Its pure money love baby and when your love is so pure and honest, you cannot go wrong, those stocks are dogs that could kill for me on the stock market if I asked them to. They will - I hope - never let me down. But no matter how strong is the love, you have to do your duty and watch them closely. At the end of the day, the stock market is a dirty business and it's not the place to act like a princess and feel in the like of your stocks but what can I say, I am who I am, but at least, I know how I am. The stock market can be full of trick and really scary, if you don't know yourself before jumping in, I doubt you'll ever be successful. It's because the stock market is too emotionally involved, so you need a good base in yourself. You need the emotionally stable because the TSX, like any other stock market, is far from being stable.

Following Lightspeed POS Inc. (LSPD) big announcement yesterday, it was hard to figure out on which way the stock was going go. I was personally unsure, but many times, when businesses released more stocks, often, the stock will go down. And this is exactly what happens with Lightspeed POS Inc. (LSPD) today. However, I didn't know anything regarding the 6 million+ in subordinate voting shares announcement. It just happens that my timing was right. Not that LSPD doesn't have a great value, but it's a player stock that captures the attention of many many investors, big and small. And because of that, LSPD is the perfect stock for quick buy-and-sell sexy hot money-making moves. With yesterday, that makes the second time that I had been successfully trading LSPD for money and I may trade again LSPD in the future. It's been easy for me so far to trade LSPD because I had been quick. My buy and sell moves were quickly done and when I had a chance to sell at profit, I did. I never last long on LSPD, in the two times. I think that's why I had been successful on those little trades. I didn't make thousands, but I prefer getting involved only with little amounts for those types of trading investment. I want to be able to sleep at night. Also, I am not always available during the daytime to check on LSPD. And I wouldn't like the stock market to become all my life because it's too much of a hard place to be. I can take some load, but at a point, enough is enough.
 

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